Short Ronin FunniesStories
by Raven Moonshadow
Summary: My silly little stories that I wrote while bored. Hope you like. Remember read and reveiw! ~.^ *pretty much complete unless I get requests*
1. Talpa, the Warlords, and the Crappy Veri...

Body Short Ronin Funnies. 

Raven Moonshadow 

Talpa, the Warlords, and the Crappy Verizon Cellphone

(Talpa is in the thrown room and his warlords were hopefully out destroying the ronins. Talpa takes out a cellphone to tell his warlords to destroy the ronins faster. Scene changes to the battle. In the middle are the warlords gathered around the fallen ronins.) 

Anubis: we have got you ronins and now our masters plans with all succeed. *Evil laughter* 

Its a Small World plays and Cale wipes out the cellphone playing it 

Cale: Yes master? 

Talpa: I want you to defeat the ronins and hurry. 

Cale: You want us to eat the phone and get bunnies? Are you sure sir? 

In the back round Anubis, Dais, and Sekhmet: BUNNIES!!!!!! 

Cale: Shush. 

Talpa: No I want you to defeat the Ronins and hurry! 

Cale: Yeah I heard you the first time. Eat the phone and get bunnies. 

Talpa: No you numb nuts... 

Cale: Get drunk? 

Talpa: ARGE!!! 

(Talpa hangs up) 

Cale: Well that was strange. Anyway we are supposed to eat the phone, get bunnies, and then get drunk. How does that sound. 

Walords: YEAH!!!! 

Sekhmet: Wait a minuet who is going to eat the phone? 

All: ...? 

(Warlords walk away leaving a very confused group of ronins. They shrug, get up, and go home. In the distance we hear Ryo.) 

Ryo: Maybe they should switch to sprint? 

Ronins: .:nod:. 

~ 

(Talpa is yet again sitting in the thrown room with the cellphone. He looks at cellphone in disgust) 

Talpa: I am going to try this one more time. Damn verizon wireless. I shouldn't have to deal with this I am a big floating head thing trying to take over the world and possibly succeeding. 

(Talpa dials Warlords new number, since the last cellphone they ate.) 

Sekhmet: Now we have you and this time we will not fail. 

Because I Got High starts to play and Dais wipes out their new cellphone 

Dais: Hello? 

Talpa: Are you done yet? 

Dais: Torture Sekhmet? 

Talpa: No dimwit are you done yet? 

Dais: Give Sekhmet a stimulant? 

Anubis injects Sekhmet with a stimulant. 

Sekhmet: Owwies. a few seconds later Ohh look at all the pretty butterflies. runs around saying this while trying to catch the 'butterflies' 

Talpa: You are all idiots. 

Dais: You want us to get kittens? But we already got bunnies last week. 

Talpa: I will see you later 

Dais: You want a science teacher? But master you are good at everythig why do you need one? 

Talpa: ... 

Dais: I guess if you really want one we can send one over for you. 

Talpa: hangs up 

Dais: New plan warlords we are getting kittens, torturing Sekhmet, giving him lots of stimulants, and getting Talpa a sience teacher. 

Warlords vanish. Ronins look less confused this time as they get up. Ryo looks at everyone. Sage stares at the castle hovering above. 

Sage: You would think that Talpa would want to take over the sprint company instead of the world. I would be a lot more productive. 

Rowen: Yeah but he is too stupid to think of that, even if he is a giant floating head. 

Ronins: .:nod:. 

Ronin and Warlord kittens

(Author is looking around for the Ronins and Warlords so they can star in her next fic Cye and the Magical Goldfish.) 

Author/ Raven: Where the h*ll are the Ronins and Warlords? 

Raven hears something and quickly turns to see a ball of blue fly around the corner 

Raven: Ha there I found one. Looks and see a little blue kitten looking at her Awwwwwwwwwww!!!!! How cute!picks up ball of blue only to notice a scar that looks like a cross going across its left eye _wait a minuet doesn't cale have a scar just like this kitten does? _Looks closer to notice that its eyes are the same as Cales _Oh My GOD! It is Cale! What the h*ll happened to him?! _

__Something lands on her head. Still holding Cale she reaches up with her other hand and pulls whatever it is out of her hair 

Cale: Rrow *Yawn* 

Raven: Looks at the little yellow kitten with violet eyes. One name came to mind _SAGE!!!! Oh MY GOD he looks cuter as a kitten then as a human! _

__Little Sage kitten licks the tip of Ravens nose. Raven giggles and takes the two kittens over to the couch and sits down. The two kittens begin to playfully tackle eachother on her lap. She giggles and thinks of how cute they are.She closes her eyes and suddenly feels more furs around her. She opens them to see all of the Ronins and Warlords sitting around her looking at her. Suddenly they all get an evil look in their eyes. She widens her eyes in terror. _Oh no what are they planning? _Suddenly it hit her _They are going to tackle me. _She didn't have time to acted as they all pounced on her and began licking and nipping at her with their rough tongues and sharp little teeth. She started giggling uncontrollably. Soon the Room was filled with a bright light and she suddenly found herself under a pile of human Ronins and Warlords. She looked at them and they looked at her. They got off of her and blushed. 

Raven: Aww damn. You aren't kittens any more. Raven pouts 

Cye: You like us better as kittens then as humans? looks hurt 

Raven: Naw as humans I can do more than just rub your tummies and listen to you purr. Gives Cye a seductive look 

Cye: Blushes 

Raven: hehehehehehehhehehe *Evil laughter* 

~Owari 

Next: Cye and the Magical Goldfish and Kento's pet rock..... 


	2. Cye and The Magical Goldfish, Kento's Pe...

Body Short Ronin funnies 

Chapter2 

By: Raven Moonshadow 

Cye and The Magical Goldfish 

(Cye is walking home from school. He is kicking rocks as he goes. One rock says ouch and he looks at it weirdly but keeps going. He turns away from the house and walks to the lake. He kicks off his shoes and stripps down to his boxers with little fishes on them.) 

Cye:I have had the worst day ever and now all I want to do is swim in my element. *Jumps in water and starts to swim around* *a little gold fish pops up* 

Goldfish: Cye I am your father. 

Cye: Wha? You are? 

Goldfish: Wait wrong line. Cye I am your magical goldfish. 

Cye: Oh ok because I was wondering how I came to be since you are a gold fish and well... my mom is human. 

Goldfish: That is a sick thought. 

Cye: Sorry 

Goldfish: That is ok. I am here to grant you one wish. 

Cye: Just one? 

Goldfish: yes. 

Cye: I dont know what to wish for 

Goldfish: Can you hurry it up please. 

Cye: What can I wish for. 

Goldfish: *murmurs something under his breath* Well you can wish for anything. Women, food, new armor, kitchen utensils, and the list goes on. 

Cye: Oh. Well I wish I had the most perfect girl there was. 

Goldfish: *nodds* good wish. 

(Suddenly a portal opens and the author drops through. She lands in the water and comes up sputtering) 

Author/Raven: What the hell? Wasn't I just at my computer writing the next chapter to New Pilots? 

Goldfish: You were, but Cye made a wish and you are now his women 

Cye: *smiles* 

Raven: *evil grin* I have no problem this as long as you have a computer, I'm all yours. 

Cye: Yeah! *swims over to Raven* 

Goldfish: My work is done here. 

Raven: No it isn't. 

Goldfish: It isn't? 

Raven: You forgot that now I get a wish. 

Goldfish: Oh I'm sorry. What would you like? 

Raven: A diamond ring from Cye. *another evil smile* 

Goldfish: Granted *a diamond appears and the goldfish gives it to Cye* Cye give this to her. 

Cye: *smiles and grabs the ring* *Slips it on Raven's ring finger* 

Raven: Yeah! I have always wanted to get married to a real hottie! 

Cye: *blush* I didn't know the ring ment you wanted to get married. 

Raven: That is what a diamond ring usually means sweety. 

Cye: *blushes redder* Oh okay. 

Goldfish: Now am I done or do you want children too? 

Raven: No I think that Cye and me are capable of doing that ourselves. 

Cye: *looks the color of a tomato* *nodds* 

Goldfish: Good because now I would like to go. 

Cye: Wait. I thought you said that your were my magical goldfish. Aren't you going to stay with me? 

Goldfish: I did say that didn't I? 

Raven: Yeah I think you did 

Goldfish: Well I guess that I have to come home with you then. 

Raven and Cye: *nod* 

Goldfish: Lets go? 

Cye: Ok. 

Raven: Maybe you can help plan the wedding? 

Goldfish: I will. 

Raven: Thanks *glomps onto Cye as he gets out to grab something to put the goldfish in* 

Cye: *comes back with a plastic bag from somewhere (dont ask me why he had it)* Here get in this and we'll go back to the house. I wonder what the guys are going to say when they find out that I'm getting married? 

Raven: Maybe something around the lines of *changes voice so it sounds like a males*'Cye, dude your getting married? Finally, its about time our virgin Cye gets some action. *goes back to normal voice* Dont you think? 

Cye: *blushes and nods* 

Goldfish: Can we get going? This bag isn't exactly great. 

Both: Sorry. 

Kento's Pet Rock 

(Everyone is sitting in the living room doing their own separate things. You know Rowen is reading. Sage and Cale are sharing hair spray tips. Dais was hanging upside down from the ceiling. Ryo was grooming Whitblaze. Cye was in the kitchen with Raven (his new wife) cooking and Anubis and Sekhmet were playing a video games. All of a sudden Kento runs in) 

Kento:*out of breath* Guys I got a pet! 

Sekhmet: Oh really? What kind of pet? 

Kento: His name is Rocky. 

Sage: He asked what kind not what's it's name. 

Kento: Here let me show you *Wips out a rock with little sun glasses* See isn't he cute? 

Dais: He's a rock?! 

(All of a sudden Dais falls for where he was hanging with a large bump on his head. When he hit the floor Kento's 'pet' lands on the floor next to Dais' head. The Ronin's and Ex-warlords look stunned. Mia walks in the room and gasps) 

Mia: What did I tell you about throwing rocks at people. Even if they are one of the warlords. *Puts hands on hips* 

Kento: But I didn't do it! Rocky did it! 

Cale: Are we supposed to believe that your pet rock got up and flung it's self at Dais? Do you think that we are stupid? 

Kento: No, but Rocky really did do it. 

Mia: Go to your room mister and take you pet rock with you. I want you to think about what you have done. 

Kento: But... 

Mia: GO TO YOUR ROOM! NOW! *points to the stairs* 

Kento: Fine. *picks up Rocky and walks up the stairs to his room* *Once they were out of everyones hearing rang* They are so mean to me. They dont even think that you are real. 

Rocky: But I am real. We should show them I'm real. 

Kento: But now their mad at me and will never listen to me. 

Rocky: We'll just have to make them listen. 

Kento: How are we going to do that. 

Rocky: Like this *Whispers into Kento's ear* 

(An hour later the plan was set. The Ronins, Raven, and Ex-warlords were tied up and thrown in the basement. Whiteblaze was knocked out and was placed in the closet. Kento and Mr. Rocky walk out from the shadows) 

Cye: Kento why are you doing this? 

Kento: Because _YOU_ didn't believe that Rocky was real. 

Anubis: But Kento Rocky is a rock with sunglasses. 

Kento: Never doubt the rock! 

Rocky: Yes you should never have doubted me because I am real Muhahahahahahahahahaha!!!! 

All Ronins,Raven, and Ex-warlords: *gasp* You Talk! 

Rocky: Damn right and now I will take over the world 

All: *gasp* 

Kento: But... but that wasn't part of the plan we were only supposed to show them that you were real. 

Rocky: I lied. Now that I have the only ones with mystical armor out of the way I can rule the world. *a min version of Talpa's head appears above Rocky* Muhahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahahhahaha *more insane laughter that sounds like Talpa's* 

Kento: But I am still free. 

Rocky/Mini Talpa's head: You are too stupid to do anything. You were the one that trusted a talking rock in the first time hahaha. 

Kento: *pouts* But the rocks are my _Friends_. 

All: *blink* *blink blink* 

Rocky/Mini Talpa's head: Umm... Riiiiiiggggghhhhhttttt. 

Cye: Kento kill the rock! 

Kento: But the rocks are my _Friends_ remember. I cant do that. 

Ryo: God damn it Kento he is trying to take over the world! Just kill the damn thing! 

Raven: Yeah I promise to get you another pet rock later. 

Kento: Well... 

Cye: I'll make you a sandwich too. 

Kento: All right I'll do it! *Kento picks up rock* 

Rocky/Mini Talpa head: What are you doing Kento? 

Kento: I have to get rid of you or Cye wont make me a sandwich. So I guess I have to say BUB BYE! *Hurls Rocky at the wall* 

Rocky/Mini Talpa head: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! *Shatters on impacted* *Kento walks over and jumps on the pieces* 

Ryo: Um Kento could you untie us first? 

Kento: Oh sorry. 

(All go up stairs knowing that they have once again saved the world. Unkown to them all the little pieces of rock were piecing themselves together till Rocky was back to his original self) 

Rocky/mini Talpa head: You will never defeat me. I'll be back! Muhahahahahhahahahaha. *disappears* 

~Owari 

Raven: I dont know what to do next give me any suggestions on things you would like to see in this fic. Thanks. 


End file.
